


Anarchy In St. Hopes

by borntooloose



Series: Pretty Vacant [1]
Category: M.I. High, Sex Pistols (Band)
Genre: F/F, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-11
Updated: 2019-06-11
Packaged: 2020-04-24 13:56:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,559
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19174684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/borntooloose/pseuds/borntooloose
Summary: Pretty Vacant: the misadventures of the Sex Pistols. A series where the controversial English punk rock band finds themselves stuck in different universes unaware they are so.The Sex Pistols come to St. Hopes High School for a gig.





	Anarchy In St. Hopes

**Author's Note:**

> M.I. High takes place in the late 2000s-early 2010s and the Sex Pistols were a 1970s band but this had to be. The Sex Pistols in this universe are a late 2000s band. NOTE that this is incomplete, I'm only saving this so I don't lose my work.

**St**. **Hopes High School. November 21, 2008**

"WHAT?" Headmistress Mrs. King exclaims over the phone with someone. "SEX PISTOLS? THIS IS A HIGH SCHOOL, SIR! WE'RE NOT GOING TO BE HOST TO WHATEVER VULGAR SHOW YOU'RE REFERRING TO!". The man over the phone is Malcolm McLaren, manager of the punk rock band the Sex Pistols. Due to the Pistols' controversial behavior, they have been banned from most venues in London and pretty much the entirety of the UK, resorting to playing strip clubs and surprise gigs. McLaren, a shameless svengali, decided high schools would be perfect, considering they consist of highly impressionable teenagers. 

McLaren elaborated that the Sex Pistols were a rock band he managed and the band have nowhere else to play in the UK, especially considering they were about to drop their single 'Holidays In The Sun' in a few days and needed to support it. "Okay then, we'll organize a gig for Monday." Mrs. King said extremely disgruntled. The gig was to be held during the middle of the day, with the audience consisting of the students at St. Hopes. "I just hope it doesn't set a bad example for the kids." she laments.

Oscar Cole exits the caretaker's store room, where he had just returned from a mission, only to be stopped by goth Avril Franklin. "Oscar! You'll never believe this." she exclaims. "What do you mean?" he answers. Avril elaborates. "I just heard that the Sex Pistols are going to play here in St. Hopes High School!" she says, extremely excited. Oscar has no idea what the Sex Pistols are. "What, who?" Oscar asks.

"Hello? They're The Sex Pistols, they're a 'punk rock' band. They're like the most exciting band we've had in a long time!" Avril exclaims. "Well I'm not really a music person, I wouldn't know." shot back Oscar. "Well good for you..." Avril says, shoving past Oscar. He walks through the corridors, where pretty much everybody is talking about the Sex Pistols. Even 'Scoop Doggy', the school's wannabe rapper, was going on about how he'd heard of the band online and thought they were awesome and that he was pumped to see them live. 

Oscar came across his spy partners, Rose Gupta, a 'geek' if you will, and Carrie Stewart, a gymnastic fanatic. "What is the fuss about this Sex Pistols band?" he asked them. "I don't know, but I wanna see what it's all about!" Carrie answered. "I heard they're disgusting..." Rose said. "I've heard stories in newspapers about them where they puke all over people in airports!". "Surely that's just tabloids exaggerating." Oscar replied. "They surely can't get away with something like that in this school...especially with Mrs. King. I don't even know the band or what they do but they can't seriously be that disgusting."

**The Pistols' Denmark Street rehearsal pad, London, November 21, 2008**

The Pistols are sitting around, bored out of their brains. Johnny Rotten, their singer, has pen and paper, writing things down on a notepad with his back turned to the others in the corner. These are lyrics to a song about a crazed fan from Birmingham who would carry an abortion in a plastic bag and show him. Steve Jones, the guitarist, is also in a corner of the room, with a flip phone with 144p porn playing on it (2008), whacking one out to the pixelated sexual intercourse occurring on the tiny screen.

Their drummer, Paul Cook and their bassist, Sid Vicious are arguing with one another. Sid accused Paul of talking shit about his girlfriend Nancy Spungen, a New York prostitute who was getting him into hardcore drugs like heroin "Oy, fuck off, I hate Nancy, she's a fuckin' toe rag, she's fuckin' ya life up ya cunt!" Paul shouted. Sid shouted back. "You're a fool!". The two were close to get into a full blown fist-fight, until Malcolm McLaren, their manager, came through the door.

"Guys, we got a gig!" Malcolm exclaimed. "Oh god, where are we playing this time? Another fuckin' strip club?" Johnny snarked. "No no no Johnny. We're playing St. Hopes High School!" Malcolm elaborated. "What? A school? I hate schools, they tell you what to do and they're run by GROWN-UPS, the lowest form of life I might add." Sid said. Johnny added: "School's something you gotta get rid of quick. It's a prison."

"It's not like you're fuckin' goin' back there ya cunt!" Steve shouted from the corner zipping his pants back up. "You know what, they better have egg and chips on their lunch menu there...cunts, otherwise I'll beat their heads in!" Sid declared. "The gig's taking place tomorrow." Malcolm said. Johnny lets out an audible groan. "That means we have to rehearse..." he moans. 

**MI9 Base, November 24, 2008**

It's Monday, and the Sex Pistols are about to arrive at St. Hopes High School. "Okay team." said Frank London, St. Hopes school janitor and secret spy-handler of MI9. "So the Sex Pistols are coming to St. Hopes. This is a pretty big deal." Frank says. "What is such the big fuss over a rock band?" Oscar asks. "Well you see Oscar," said Frank, walking up to the big screen on the wall above three small computer screens, showing a slideshow of news clippings and photographs. "They're fairly controversial. There is reports of members of the band hurling abuse towards staff at Heathrow Airport as well as spitting and vomiting everywhere. They've also sworn on live television as well and get into fights with their audiences...as a result they're getting banned from most clubs in London and to an extent the entirety of Britain."

"I've seen and heard worse..." Oscar shoots back. "I remember Avril talking about when she saw that DarkMinister band she liked and they slashed their wrists on stage or something. Fifty Pence shot himself in the head and got one of his mates to take a photo of it and upload it to the internet as he died! The Sex Pistols sound like nothing compared to any of that..."

"Yeah, but is DarkMinister banned everywhere in this country? I don't think so...obviously there's something about them striking fear into people." Rose said. "Well the main reason why I brought you guys here is that there seems to be no mission today." Frank declared. "SKUL hasn't made any moves for the past week so I think it's safe to leave it for a day."

"Plus, I really wanna see the Sex Pistols for myself too!" he added. "I just can't see how they're so feared. Maybe somebody will prove me wrong." Oscar stated as the four walk to the elevator that would take them back up to the school.

**St. Hopes High School, November 24, 2008**

Mrs. King, deputy headmistress, converses with Kenneth Flatley, the clumsy headmaster of St. Hopes High. "Look, Flatley, I don't know about these Sex Pistols. They seem to regularly enjoy indulging in bad behavior according to what I'm reading up here. This is going to set a bad example for this entire school." she grumbled. "Surely it can't be bad!" Flatley nervously giggled. "The kids are really going crazy over this band!" Mrs. King said. "I'm not sure if it's curiosity, but it seems like the entirety of St. Hopes is talking about the Sex Pistols!"

Indeed they are. All everybody at the school had been talking about was the Sex Pistols. Avril was conversing with her fashion-conscious girlfriend Davina Berry about it. "It can be like a little date!" Avril proposed to her. "Oh my god, yes!" Davina squealed. Scoop Doggy was talking to his homies about how the Sex Pistols will 'fuckin' destroy this place'. 

Outside, a white, shitty, rundown van pulls up, containing Johnny Rotten, Sid Vicious, Steve Jones and Paul Cook, as well as Malcolm McLaren and their soundman Dave Goodman. The band get out of the vehicle swearing to each other nonstop. Sid stumbles out of the van clutching a bottle of whisky and purposely walks into the others while making funny noises. "God, I can't believe we're playing at a high school..." John lamented. "I'd thought I'd never have to set foot in one of those establishments ever again..."

"Fuckin' shut up ya cunt, it's just a gig!" Steve shouted. Johnny hated school. He had gone to catholic school as a kid and was tormented constantly there. High school was no better; he was eventually kicked out. Sid had no carefactor. He had shot up some speed prior to the gig and actually had plans to spike the headmasters' tea with fatal doses of heroin. He also planned to shoot up on stage in full view of the students as well as slash himself and let himself bleed everywhere.

The band arrived in the school hauling in their PA, amps, drums, guitars and microphones, with Mrs. King and Mr. Flatley at the door. Mrs. King was bewildered at their fashion. Spiked hair, leather jackets, ripped shirts and jeans held together by safety pins. They'd seen emo fashion go past but it was tame compared to this. The band went into the school auditorium to set up their equipment. The auditorium had folding chairs as seats, so Sid picked them up and began hurling them around including at the rest of the band setting up their equipment.


End file.
